"dual"-ing for resources

Oracle 9.2.0.6 on AIX
Application module running in 12 concurrent streams (12 CPU box)

Total response time (%R) = 18 minutes 55 seconds
Total executions of "SELECT ... FROM dual" = 1,087,770
Total logical I/O's = 3,263,033
Contribution to R = 32.9%

Actual code:

PROCEDURE next_delq_date
  (DUE_DATE                   IN VARCHAR2,
   DELQ_DAYS                  IN NUMBER,
   ACTION_DATE                IN OUT VARCHAR2)
IS
  DAY_NUM NUMBER;
  HOLIDAY_DATE  VARCHAR2(11);
  BEGIN
    BEGIN
         ACTION_DATE := DUE_DATE;
         FOR DAYS_COUNT IN 1..DELQ_DAYS LOOP
           SELECT TO_CHAR(TO_DATE
           (ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY')+1, 'DD-MON-YYYY')
           INTO ACTION_DATE FROM DUAL;
           SELECT TO_CHAR(TO_DATE
           (ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY'),'D')
           INTO DAY_NUM
           FROM DUAL;
           IF DAY_NUM = 1 THEN
            SELECT TO_CHAR(TO_DATE
            (ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY')+1, 'DD-MON-YYYY')
            INTO ACTION_DATE FROM DUAL;
           END IF;
           IF DAY_NUM = 7 THEN
            SELECT TO_CHAR(TO_DATE
            (ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY')+2, 'DD-MON-YYYY')
            INTO ACTION_DATE FROM DUAL;
           END IF;

          LOOP
           HOLIDAY_DATE := NULL;
            BEGIN
             SELECT TO_CHAR(UTRHLDY_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY')
             INTO HOLIDAY_DATE FROM UTRHLDY
             WHERE UTRHLDY_DATE = to_date(ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY')
             AND ROWNUM < 2;
            EXCEPTION WHEN NO_DATA_FOUND THEN
             HOLIDAY_DATE := NULL;
            END;
           IF HOLIDAY_DATE IS NULL THEN
            EXIT;
           END IF;
           IF HOLIDAY_DATE IS NOT NULL THEN
            SELECT TO_CHAR(TO_DATE(ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY')+1, 'DD-MON-YYYY')
            INTO ACTION_DATE FROM DUAL;
            SELECT TO_CHAR(TO_DATE(ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY'),'D')
            INTO DAY_NUM FROM DUAL;
            IF DAY_NUM = 1 THEN
             SELECT TO_CHAR(TO_DATE(ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY')+1, 'DD-MON-YYYY')
             INTO ACTION_DATE FROM DUAL;
            END IF;
            IF DAY_NUM = 7 THEN
             SELECT TO_CHAR(TO_DATE(ACTION_DATE,'DD-MON-YYYY')+2, 'DD-MON-YYYY')
             INTO ACTION_DATE FROM DUAL;
            END IF;
           END IF;
          END LOOP;
         END LOOP;
    END;
END;

I believe this is the most inefficient way I've ever seen to determine the next business day (not counting holidays) when an account will become n days delinquent. Admittedly, this code gets better (performance wise) in v10 with the addition of FAST DUAL, but still... There's only one SELECT (on the holiday table, UTRHLDY) that appears to be needed at all. Why use DUAL to calculate and format dates? Ever hear of variable assignment?

I suppose you've gotta laugh, huh? This may be one for the Oracle WTF!